Don’t you just love warm weather and summer time?  The grass is growing, the flowers are blooming, and the trees are a gorgeous lush green.

All the beautiful blooms and growth just happen on their own, right?

Not quite!

It takes decent soil, water, and sunlight for plants to start their beautiful arrival in the spring and continue on through summer.

How about us?  Do we just sit around and become vibrant, soulful people without any help?

Not quite!

The fact is, our lives are growing all the time. But the  blooming and flourishing part?  Not always.

Just like the good soil, water, and  sunshine make the foliage a beauty to behold, so too do we have to have certain elements in our lives to help us grow.

Just like plants, we require water and sunshine.  A strong root system (our core beliefs) helps too.

What else makes a great growth?

The pruning!

In order for trees, bushes, and flowers to grow thicker and fuller, the pruning does have to be done.  The cutting off of the dead branches and leaves helps make room for more growth.

Do you want to see growth in your own life?  Then you are going to have to take inventory and do some pruning!

If you’ve let anger or resentment take root, that branch needs to be cut off.  If you have people in your group of influencers who are holding you back instead of encouraging you forward, they need to go.

Ouch!

Yep, that pruning can hurt.  It may sound harsh but chopping off those relationships may be the only way for you to grow.

You see, just like a plant with a disease, the dying branches can be pruned away and the plant will thrive.  So too will people who have the support of positive people in their lives.  If you have a too many negative friends in your circle, I hate to tell you this but to grow in a healthy manner, you need to prune them out!

Here’s why . . . .

They are like a contagious disease.  Instead of YOU being able to inspire and motivate THEM, it seems THEY tend to bring US into their negativity.  So, don’t hesitate to get rid of the gossips, the naysayers, and the downright negative nellies.  They don’t belong on the branches of your growing self.  YOU are the most beautiful creature, unique in your own way with your own gifts and talents.  Blossom and become who you were meant to be.

One. Great.Human.Being.

Peace,

-Martha

I was reading a blog post recently and the person relayed that they had been told by a family member, when they were quite young, that they were an “accident.”

How sad.  Nobody is an accident.  Yes, there are certainly babies that are complete surprises and some that come into the world under the worst of circumstances, but there are no accidents.

However, this post is not directed to the people who say harsh things to others, who fling out a retort that burns, or who make careless remarks.

Who then??

It’s directed to the people who receive them.  And dwell on them.  And remember them over and over and over for years! Needless to say, that’s very unhealthy.  Plus, it keeps you in the moment of the unkind word.  It keeps reminding you that someone was cruel to you.  Why do you want to keep doing that?

I can’t help it!

Well, I’m here to tell you that you can!  No, it’s not easy and it won’t be overnight, especially if you’ve been harboring ill-will about the remark for years on end.  Maybe even decades!  But, I am telling you, you can exchange that thought, when it comes, into a positive, uplifting affirmation for yourself that will feed your very soul.

Repetition works!

I know. Many people think affirmations are nothing more than repeating the same sentence over and over.  It is that, but it has another purpose.  To replace the negative remarks that are playing in your head anyway.  Over and Over.  You know, our mind is an interesting thing.  It focuses on what we feed it.  And, if we choose to feed it a negative remark that was made to us years ago and continue to say it to ourselves every day, guess what?  That becomes what we actually believe.

Our self-talk is the most important speech we hear.  And, the speech we pay attention to.

Why not make a change?

Unless you just enjoy harboring old resentments that make you feel lousy and can also affect your health, why not try some new self-talk?  How about turning that “you were an accident” or whatever your negative statement is into something positive.  How about this:  “I am here for a reason and the reason is all good.”  Doesn’t that have a better ring to it?

There will always be off-remarks that come your way that make no sense or bring you sorrow.  It’s OK.  It doesn’t have to be the message you send to yourself. When you hear the negative words playing back, change them immediately into powerful, positive words about yourself.  Therein, you will find happiness.

Peace,

-Martha

p.s.  Need some help changing that self-talk?  You might want to check out my audio, Rewired!

It’s here!  Gobble gobble day in the good ole U.S.A.

Pilgrims, turkeys, pumpkin pie.  We eat so much we wanna cry!  (OK, I had to be cute!)

Thanksgiving Day is a traditional day of gratitude and that’s what I want you  to focus on today.  The people and things  you are grateful for.

I know. Some years are better than others.  But I don’t want you to just go through the motions.  I want you to feel the gratitude.  Here’s a great idea:

• Get out a piece of paper.

• Number it from 1-20.

• Now, write out twenty things you are thankful for today.  And, as you are writing them, get into the spirit of gratitude.

Really think about all the wonderful things in your life you have to be thankful for.  In my case, I count a loving family,  special friends, unexpected opportunities, a fun business, good health, warm shelter, clean clothing, too much education, a functioning laptop, cool vacations, plenty of books, diet coke, contact lenses, reliable transportation, a dog who loves me, piano music, a cell phone, Facebook and Twitter, flip flops, and southern fried cooking.

Get the picture?

Don’t just go through the motions.  Get with the program. Get your gobble on and celebrate Thanksgiving!

Peace,

-Martha

p.s.  And, take it easy on that pumpkin pie

Have you ever “accidentally” called someone on your cell phone simply because the phone hit something in your pocket or purse and triggered a ring to another person?  (People whose names start with the letter “A” are particularly susceptible to being on the receiving end of this phenom)

This happened to me a couple of mornings ago.  My cousin Art, who lives miles away from me in Baton Rouge, accidentally hit my number while in route to a first birthday party for one of his grand-daughters.  Technology has created lots of “accidents” but are they really?

Accidentally on purpose.

Since we were on the phone, we visited for a short while, first talking about SEC football (yes, we do have our priorities straight), then onto how we were all “gettin’ along” to a wonderful trip down memory lane.  If you could have eavesdropped, you would have heard us spend a little time reminiscing about our shared heritage of grandparents and parents and agreeing their legacies and influence were evident in our lives today.  By the time we hung up, we were both saying the all important “we love you” and were a little misty eyed.

What you would not have heard was the unspoken, unforgettable memories that we both shared.  None of that was said of course, but it was there just the same.

The flow of the familiar.

The conversation was light, but the kindred spirits were at work.  Vivid memories began to surface.

This was the same guy who pulled my ponytail when I was little, sat across from me at the “kid’s table” at holiday dinners, taught me card tricks and how to water ski,  pulled plenty of shenanigans on me, drove eight hours to attend my high school graduation, let me visit him in college, came to my wedding and thought my husband was a great as I did, agreed that my kids were fantastic, and carried my Daddy to his final resting place.

None of that was said of course.  But it was all there.   That’s what made the “accident” feel like no mistake at all.  It was just time to do a little catching up.

When I hung up, I felt a warm surge of energy that can only be described as love.  I started my day with that wonderful feeling and validation of WHO I AM.

Do you believe in “accidents?”

I’m not so sure I do!

Peace,

-Martha

p.s.  If you have someone who has meant something to you over the years and you haven’t accidentally called them lately, I urge you to do it now.  You’ll be glad you did!

There are two ways to go through life.  Embracing it or fighting it.

Depending on the circumstance, we all usually go back and forth.  And, it’s always about our perspective.

I was reading an old copy of a Dale Carnegie book last night and was struck by an illustration used in the book.

He was comparing Napoleon and Helen Keller.  He observed that Napoleon had everything men usually want– fame, power, riches — yet he said at Saint Helena, “I have never known six happy days in my life.”  Helen Keller, on the other hand, who was blind and deaf, was heard to say, “I have found life so beautiful.”

Having it all!

Which one would you say had it all?  Which one are you more like?

I would love to say I find the beauty in everyday life every day. Sadly, that’s not the case.

However, I do try to keep a good outlook.  Your outlook is something that you have control of.  You can’t always change your circumstances or what is going on in the world around you.

You CAN decide your reactions!

Your reactions are really your perspective.  How you look at the world around you and your place in it.  We’ve all seen people with the same set of circumstances yet, one will rise above it and have a great attitude and another will go through life bitter or sad.

It’s all about perspective!

It’s a decision.  You get to choose how you see the world and what perspective you choose to have.

Now, go.  Make your perspective beautiful!

Peace,

-Martha

When was the last time you heard a word of praise? Remember how it made you feel?  How you stood a little taller and maybe walked a little straighter?

Praise for a job well done will go a long way.  Have you ever watched a child after he or she has been praised?   They want to do the thing again. Because they want more praise!  It makes a person feel good. Uplifts their spirit and interjects positive reinforcement into their minds!

Did you know praise had that kind of power?

Well, it does.  There are examples out the wazoo of people’s very lives being changed just because a person in authority gave them a word of  praise.  Recognized who they were and what they could do!  A parent, teacher, or coach made them feel they could accomplish anything just with a few words of praise.

My story. . . .

In my own life, I have been very fortunate to have a constant stream of praisers (is that a word?) come my way.  My parents, grandparents, several special teachers and especially my piano teacher, Mrs. Meeks.  I saw her once a week during my formative years and she was always telling me how great I was!  Seriously, she was somewhat flamboyant and could make me believe anything!  Her constant praise was a weekly motivator that I will always cherish.

Do you think I enjoyed those lessons?  Do you think I always wanted to show up the next week totally prepared and ready to go?  Of course!  That’s one impact of praise. The other is that you carry it with you for a really long time.

The impact doesn’t fade.

Chances are, you can remember someone who gave you a good dose of praise sometime along the way.  That’s because that feeling stays with you.  It doesn’t diminish with time.  How awesome is that?

Let’s all look for someone to praise today.  Let a person know that their efforts didn’t go unnoticed.  My guess is that you will run into many people today that you can hand out a little praise to.  How about the person at the cleaners? The bank teller?  The server at the restaurant?  Tell them what a fantastic job they are doing and how much you appreciate them.

One dose of praise will go a long way!

One more word.  If you are especially blessed with an opportunity to praise a child today, reach out and do it.  Your praise could make a long lasting difference in the their life and consequently in the world.  Now, think about that.

Peace,

-Martha

How many of you use Facebook?  I have found it a great way to keep up with former classmates, friends, family members and (my favorite) my sons!

As you may know, updating your status on Facebook means answering the simple question, “What are you doing?”  Yesterday, I had posted ‘thinking good thoughts.”

I promptly continued going about my day and quickly forgot about it.

Talk about a nice surprise!

Later in the evening, logging on again, I saw that I had a comment from my 20-year-old son who is in college.  After telling me that “thinking good thoughts” was the best way to think, he then added that one of his professors last week had asked them to write down something negative that they tell themselves.  My son said he had to make something up because he only tells himself positive things!

How incredible is that?

Ben has learned the secret to happiness and success.  He already knows that the best way to think is to think the best about yourself!  He has learned the importance of self-talk and it sounds like he has mastered it.

Now, I didn’t have a full-length conversation with him on this subject, but I intend to on our next visit.  You see, self-talk is the key to opening the doors of possibilities.  When you tell yourself who you are and repeat that in a positive way, you become that person you are striving to be.

Sounds simple enough!

Yes, it does but I can assure you, it’s not.  Your conversations with yourself have been going on since birth and they are continual.  Many people are feeding in the wrong message over and over.  Guess what?  The person you listen to the most and believe is yourself!  Whatever you are telling yourself becomes your truth.

Practice makes perfect.

Here’s a little exercise you can practice:  Begin to notice when negative thoughts come your way.  Work on replacing them with healthy, positive thoughts.  It may not be easy at first.  After all, habits are hard to break! But, like anything else, repetition is the key.  Once you notice and become aware of your negative thoughts, they become easier to replace.

When you harbor negative thoughts about yourself, you become “stuck.”  Unable to really move forward.  Changing that self-talk will enable you to reach for the stars!  Nothing stands in your way at that point because the only barrier was your own negative self-talk!

Let’s take a tip from my son.  Cultivate the best way of thinking and move forward to achieve whatever we desire!

I hope, in the near future, you will have to make something up if you are asked to list any negative thoughts about yourself!

Peace,

-Martha

p.s.  -and, for those who need extra help, you might like to try my audio Rewired!

How many of us have self-imposed labels?  And what do those labels “say” about us to others?

Are we sending a good message or a message full of self-doubt, poor self-esteem, or self-loathing?

Do you feel powerful and capable with your current image of yourself?  If not what is holding you back?

Here’s the clue. . . .

YOU are the only one who can choose your self-image. The labels that you carry around in your head about yourself.

If you’re not liking what you see in the mirror, you are the only one who holds the key to change.

You may have had labels put on you by others but that’s no reason to keep them if they are causing you harm.  Your labels may come from some of your not-so-wonderful life experiences.  Maybe mistakes you’ve made along the way.  Use those mistakes as lessons, dust yourself off, forget about them, and move on!

Don’t let a label define you.  Don’t be so easily convinced of your weaknesses.  You are in control.  YOU decide what to believe about yourself.  YOU get to be the creator of your own life!

Become “Label-free”

Take the time to decide what you really want your life to look like.  Then, discard the old labels that aren’t serving you– and, get out there and LIVE!

Embrace the freedom that comes from a label-free life!

Now, go, be who you are!

Peace,

-Martha

Anybody need some relationship motivation?

You know it’s not always easy.  Relationships can be so complicated.

Here’s the key!

Try being genuinely interested in the other person. Ask about their day, their dreams, etc.  Guess what?  People like to talk about themselves.  They like to feel good about themselves.

Just by taking an active interest, in a non-judging way of course, you can move any relationship forward.  Make it about them!

Listen up!

So many times relationships falter because one person is not listening.  Everyone wants to be heard. To know that what they say and care about matters.  Just simply being in the moment and lending an ear can be all that’s needed to keep the relationship motivated.

I know.  It’s complicated.

Think of it like this:  When you began the relationship, whether it is a friendship, a co-worker, family member, spouse, or significant other, you enjoyed that person’s company.  You wanted a deeper connection.

Keep that in mind!

Remember the importance of the other person, encourage them along the way and be supportive in their endeavors.  It’s pretty simple really.  Let them take front and center stage and celebrate what it was that attracted you in the first place!

Be grateful for the relationship.  Be grateful for the positives that the other person brings to your life.  Be grateful for the opportunity to cultivate and nuture a great relationship.  Be thankful for the good energy that person brings to the table.

Relationship motivation?

You got it!

Peace,

-Martha

Where did this rule come from?  Never Wear White After Labor Day!

I’ve heard it all my life and just like many other things, simply accepted it as the “norm.”

I know.  It’s a summer color.  It’s cooler.

There’s a change in the air!

Most of fashion is dictated by New York and Paris and I haven’t seen any signs (except in the shoe department) that they pay too much attention to this rule!  I guess it’s like everything else.  It’s all in what you think is appropriate!

How many other beliefs and ideas are you carrying around (myself included) that might just not have any substance at all but you are still abiding by them because you’ve always done it that way, or the previous generation told you that was the best way?

Where the rubber meets the road. . . .

We all have to decide which beliefs to keep, which are silly, and which are downright hurtful to our growth as human beings.  That’s what self-inflicted “rules” are all about.  Making you a better person.  If you are holding onto some standard just because “that’s the way it’s always been” but it’s not serving you today, in your life now, then discard it.

Get rid of it!

The fact is, it’s OK to wear white whenever you want to.  And it’s OK to decide for yourself what is “the norm” for you.  In all your beliefs.

Because the Never Wear White After Labor Day was passed down to me from my grandmother to my mother to me, it’s a hard one for me to let go of.  And, quite frankly, I’m still adhering to the shoes part!

My point?

Pay attention to your belief system. Question the why parts.  You just might be surprised!

Peace,

-Martha

p.s.  And, just for the record, I do wear winter white!